Help Wanted?........Please?

He has hit more home runs than anyone. He is widely regarded as the greatest hitter of his generation. His eye at the plate is unmatched and consistently leads the league in on-base-percentage.

Yet, Barry Bonds remains in baseball purgatory without an escape plan in place.

Reportedly St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa was interested in signing Bonds to protect slugger Albert Pujols.

No dice. Cardinals upper management squashed that idea with the swiftness of a Bonds home run swing.

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays were said to have "discussions" about whether or not to bring Bonds on board.

BOOM!

Every single news outlet in America swarms to the minor league-esque MLB team and wants to know the scoop. Rays manager Joe Maddon looked like a deer in the headlights of an 18-wheeler faced with the media circus that is Barry Lamar Bonds.

Sure, the steroids, HGH, cream, flaxseed oil and any other injectable, snortable, ingestible substance Bonds is associated with plays a big part in why no team is seriously considering signing the one-time first ballot Hall of Famer.

But what comes apart of the package off the field is where teams are having a tough time rationalizing a past his prime power hitter in exchange for 365 days of questions about Bonds and his checkered past.

However, teams like the Tampa Bay Rays, Kansas City Royals and Baltimore Orioles should be taking a long hard look at Bonds. Out of the 30 MLB franchises, those three teams were ranked 28, 27 and 23 respectively in league attendance last year.

What better way to put some butts in the seats than signing such an enormous lightening rod as Bonds? Think some of those games wouldn't be on ESPN?

It would have to be an American League team because the Bonds of today is an ideal designated hitter. He can't play the field. He can't really run. But he can still do things at the plate 90-percent of players could never dream of.

Bonds is the poster-child of everything performing enhancing and has taken the brunt of the criticism and scrutiny tossed in MLB's direction. Those problems are never going to disappear and any team would have to understand Bonds is a figure of epic proportions and will always require special treatment in almost every situation.

So my advice to the small market, small revenue teams out there in the American League is this:

Use him like he's used the game of baseball and its fans for his own personal gain. Make some money and give your fans a reason to come to the ballpark.

NFL Factory

Today marks the beginning of a weekend that will determine the future of over 300 collegiate football players preparing to enter the 2008 NFL Draft. Athletes from across the country will come together in Indianapolis at the NFL Combine to voluntarily be poked and prodded by coaches and scouts from around the league.

An impressive performance in the wide array of tests can lead to millions of dollars come draft day.

A poor performance has the potential to do irreparable damage to the future career of a player.

The Combine has evolved into yet another spectacle for the league and is broadcast live by the NFL Network the entire weekend. These young men are treated not as individuals, but rather potential investments for NFL franchises and leads to a very unique event in the sports world.

Medical records are examined by innumerable team doctors, physicians and trainers. That sprained ankle you had back in the fourth grade could potentially make or break a team's desire to select you with their first round pick. It's gotten to the point where your entire personality is broken down so coaches and other team personnel can try to predict what kind of player you will be.

There is the infamous Wonderlic test administered to measure the intelligence of players. Current Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young was rumored to have scored a 6 out of a possible 50 points on the test in 2006. Despite the fact he single handedly led his University of Texas team to the Rose Bowl in one of the most dramatic finishes in history, national pundits actually thought the low score would lead to him dropping out of the first round.

There is nothing else like the Combine in the sports world. It is the ultimate representation of how the NFL is a business and nothing else. Players need to realize this point early on if they want to make it in the most cut throat professional sports leagues in the world.

The NFL is the only league that does not guarantee its player's contracts. Teams can arbitrarily decide to cut a player and will never have to pay him a dime even though five years remained on the original contract. The most important part of a rookie contract is not the length of the deal or the annual salary. It's the signing bonus these kids are after and the combine will be the ultimate determination of what dollar amount will be handed to them come draft day.

It's a sick process that has become glorified to the point of insanity. Unfortunately, these kids are used to it. The NCAA has already made millions of dollars off of their sweat and tears during their collegiate tenure. This is a harsh reality that is really not looked at as a problem because it's all about the payday that may come in the future.

The next couple days will be filled with mentions of the 40-yard dash, bench press, Wonderlic and - my personal favorite - the shuttlecock race. Pay attention to the coverage and make sure you realize that a split second could mean the difference between failure and success.

Welcome to the NFL kid.

Two Worlds Collide

Sports will never be the same after Super Bowl XLII. It's become infected with a disease that is rampant among housewives and young women all over the nation and at this point in time, there is no cure.
Ryan Seacrest hosted a red-carpet pre-game show before the Super Bowl. Let me repeat that in case you weren't paying attention.
RYAN SEACREST HOSTED A RED-CARPET SHOW BEFORE THE SUPER BOWL!
Somehow this slipped under the radar of many a sports fan and some may shrug it off as part of the 'show'. But reading between the lines will make you understand this was not an accident. The obsession of celebrity gossip is creeping its way in my sports world and it's time we all took a stand to stop it.
There was a time when sports were my haven. It granted me the ultimate excuse for not paying any attention to the women in my life for hours at a time. They would leave the room and I could gorge myself on whatever greasy food I wanted, wash it down with a cold beer and absorb as much of the sports world as possible every Sunday.
This celeb-infection is threatening to destroy my sanctuary because the women of my life are now paying attention to sports. They want to see Eva Longoria in the stands rooting for Tony Parker. They want to know if Gisele is there watching Tom Brady.
They want to watch the game with other women and discuss the various merits of the boots Cameron Diaz happened to be roaming the sidelines in.
However, looking deeper into this trend it shouldn't really be surprising. The NFL, MLB and NBA are already billion dollar entities without much help from the female population. By combining an element - celebrity obsession - women find extremely appealing with something - all sports - men salivate at the mouth over, professional sports leagues are going the reap the benefits of both worlds. The financial incentives accompanying this move will be enormous.
While I can applaud the genius of this idea, I still cannot accept it.
Goodbye sports world. I will forever mourn your departure.